Lessons
by shialuvr222
Summary: He had always valued the lessons life taught him, but he'd never understood why they always came with such high costs... Written for NFA The End Where I Begin Challenge.


A/N: I'm sorry, I needed a break from my hiatus. It's killing me. So I wrote this for the NFA The End Where I Begin Challenge, please enjoy, and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. It belongs to Donald P. Bellisarius. I'm just playing around with the characters, so please don't sue me, I have no money.

A lot can happen in 60 seconds.

That was the first lesson he learned that day. In one minute, the two of them shot down 6 terrorists and each took a bullet, Tony in the leg, Tim in the side.

They say adrenaline numbs the pain, that only when the fight is over will you realize you're injured.

They lied.

He felt himself falling as pain ripped into him. His hand searched out the source, and he saw blood. He didn't realize it was his own.

It reminded him of his car crash when he was 16. Except, that hadn't hurt this much.

As his vision blurred and his head spun, he was aware of being dragged across the rooftop and into the service elevator. He hurt too much to deduce that it was Tony, who proceeded to begin CPR.

That was the last he remembered until he woke up at the hospital. Abby sat in the visitor's chair, telling him that he had been in a coma for two days.

Telling him tearfully that Tony had been hit more seriously than he had thought, and had bled out as a result.

He had died yesterday.

That was the second lesson. Life is short.

He could hardly stand at the funeral, but he made it. He had to check out AMA.

It was at the funeral that the third lesson came.

Losing a friend never becomes any easier.

The fact that Tony died because he was trying to save Tim made him feel even worse.

That's why he made his decision. He was going to leave.

It wasn't easy. He had spent years here, creating not only a career but a new lifestyle. He never got used to how happy it made him to help people.

Then again, he never got used to the pain either. It was an admirable line of work, but what cost did it come at?

Gibbs wasn't happy, but he understood. Tim had already put a bullet in the head of the man responsible, now he had to grieve.

Ziva wished he would stay. It would help give her a sense of normalcy that she needed.

Abby wasn't taking it well. She felt he was abandoning her, abandoning the team.

Director Vance shook his hand and said he was a good agent, and if he changed his mind, give him a call. Tim thanked him. It was all he could do.

So when the day had finally come, he had said goodbye to Gibbs and Ziva as they left for a crime scene. He had said goodbye to Ducky and even Palmer, and Abby last. Her façade of anger had come crumbling down, and her hidden emotions came out. She just wanted him to stay.

But he couldn't. He didn't have it in him. She said she understood.

But she didn't.

The bullpen had been empty as he had packed up the last of his things, and memories flashed through his mind. The happier they became, the more his heart broke.

_"Step back, McFlower Power."_

_"Is it possible for feet to actually die while they're still connected to the body?"_

_"It was a pottery accident."_

_"Then this will mean nothing to you... 'Who loves you, baby?'"_

_"All that for a question mark?"_

_"Cascade failure! God, you're good at this, McGee!"_

_"Bad things happen at Halloween."_

Apparently, bad things happened any day. If only he'd seen that coming.

_"I can't wait to read about the swashbuckling, socially repugnant Agent Tommy!" "And the sultry, emotionally distant Mossad Officer Lisa."_

_"You takin' a little break, DiNozzo?" "I would very much like to."_

_"Why didn't you tell him that that was my idea?" "Tony, a very wise man once told me, 'There is no I in Team.'"_

_"Used my dad's old tape recorder and a Winnie the Pooh bear. Called him Pooh 2.0." "And 15 short years later, you lost your virginity."_

_"This is tragic, McGee. You mean you've never played beerpong? What did you do at MIT?"_

_"This isn't funny, Tony." "Oh, yes it is."_

_"It's a family name, and I happen to like it. It's so..." "...I've fallen and I can't get up?"_

Tears glistened in his eyes as he was bombarded with past events and conversations, even nicknames. Oh, the nicknames.

_"McGoo."_

_"McGiggle."_

_"McTaco."_

_"McGeek."_

_"McGPS."_

_"McProof."_

_"The Great McOz."_

_"McLawyer."_

_"McNerd."_

_"Probie."_

_"Elf Lord."_

The fourth lesson had come to him then. The more pain you face, the worse it becomes.

He had left the building slowly, soaking in the memories for the last time, feeling empty and numb inside.

So now, he stood on the corner, breathing in the frosty winter air. He didn't know what he would do now, where he would go.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone.

"Yeah." _Wow,_ he thought instantly. _I picked up a lot from Gibbs._

"McGee?" Abby was sobbing, almost hysterically. "Tim, you have to come back!"

"Abbs…" He stopped himself as he was about to say "no." He didn't know why.

Until the fifth and final lesson hit him.

You don't fix anything by running away. It doesn't help.

He froze for a moment, reveling in his most recent realization. Then he straightened.

"Okay, Abbs. Let me make a call."

Hanging up, he reflected that this ending was also a beginning.

Now, they had to learn to live without Tony.


End file.
